Nov 1910 min read

There Was No Grass in ISIS

I love picnics. My ideal picnic would be a typically British one, on the banks of the Thames with checked tablecloths, wild flowers, a table laden with very British food. Basically a Jamie Oliver scenario. Our picnics in the Land between the Two Rivers are so different from my dream, but oh so more relevant to life after ISIS. They are packed full of content and meaning. Food is secondary.

These are very special times, each outing different from the previous, each one revealing its own treasure. Each picnic is a barometer of the general weather of our tribe. It’s where we are all able to stand back and quietly observe. It’s where we feel the weather of each one of our kids, and based upon that observation, are able to plan ahead for the next month. It’s where there is no hurry, nothing that needs to be done, it’s where we can engage and give them both a platform and a safety net to express themselves. It’s a slow time to be savoured.

A couple of weeks ago we planned a picnic in one of our favourite places, just outside the nearby city heading up to the mountains. During and after the picnic some of our kids began to share very personal feelings and memories. We bring their voices to you today.

Rezan, age 17

"Memories. There are people and places hidden inside me that will never die. I try to hide my memories but sometimes they surface and escape. Let me try to explain how I feel today. When I was a young child, living with my family in Sinjar, we had a swing in our yard. This picnic reminded me of the simple fun times that my sisters and I had playing on our swing. The memories surged through me with such a force that it shook me for a few minutes. I then realised that this was my opportunity to create new memories, ones that I will carry with me for a long time. I love being with my Springs of Hope Family and my friends who are part of this family. Thank you for taking me out, for giving me such joy and changing the atmosphere for all of us. I think my sisters would smile at me today."

Rezan, age 17

Vina

"I am Vina, I am 15 years old. I was in Shingal when the news came through of the picnic to Zawita. I wanted to go, to be with my friends, so I returned to Shariya a day early. People who don't understand often ask why my close friends are survivors of ISIS, like myself? Why don't I make friends outside that circle? The answer is simple, we survived hell together. We are survivors. Someone who has not survived ISIS, even though they fled Shingal, even though they lost everything, they still have not lived inside ISIS, lived with them and survived.

So when I hear that we have a SOHF family picnic, of course I want to be there with others like myself. As soon as I heard I knew that it would help us all, giving us a coping mechanism, like air to breathe, and that spending time with friends outside the camp would bring us all closer together. Which it did. It was a life giving, precious time for me. Thank you all."

Vina

Kajen and Newal

"During the picnic I asked Newal whether she was enjoying the picnic, she replied proudly:

"I would like to stay here for the rest of my life. I love nature and green places. They give me a sense of comfort. I live in a wheelchair, it’s my house. So to be outside in nature where my chair is able to be a part of this wonderful miracle, it gives me an inner peace that remains with me when I am alone, just myself and my chair. I am living a great life since I was rescued from ISIS, thanks to Springs of Hope. My thanks to everyone for all that you do for me."

Kajen and Newal

Khonav

"This was the first picnic of my life and it was beyond incredible. We went to an amazing park that was totally green, and full of grass. Everywhere I looked it was grass. I have never seen such a thing. And the sound of so many birds singing. I thought I was in a different world. I grew up in ISIS. There was no grass in ISIS. Not even a tiny piece. I lived there, no grass, nothing green, nothing growing and no birds. No swings. No playground. No slides. And no picnics. I love this new world. It is still hard for me to talk as my language is the language of ISIS. I am learning Kurdish. I understand a lot now and at the picnic I practiced what I know. I have a new life now with Springs of Hope. I am very very happy and grateful."

Khonav, age 10

Avya, Play Therapist

“The picnic in Zawita park was fantastic. It’s always wonderful to do something special for these kids that will keep the hope that is inside them alight. I had time to observe them, to watch their faces, their participation and interaction and could see that everyone was genuinely happy to be where they are now. They are alive, they have embraced their freedom and are well strengthened and prepared for their future.

Each one of them has faced innumerable challenges and hardships. There are two threads that are common to them, they are all survivors of ISIS and they are all healing and finding their way.

Camp life is exhausting. Those of us who are blessed in living outside the camp, even ten years later, we can not put ourselves in their shoes. Losing everything, life in ISIS, released to camp living, the pressure of the camp. The energy needed to survive inside the camp. It’s so important to make these trips outside, where their batteries can be recharged, where they can step back from their problems and regain emotional and mental strength.

I want to send my heartfelt thanks to you all, each one of you who supports us in some way is an angel. Your support enables us to create an atmosphere of healing for these young people. Thank you.”

Avya. Play Therapist.

Rezan Bassim, age 10

"This was my first trip with my wonderful new friends. I didn't know that there was such a thing as a picnic. There were no picnics in ISIS. I loved this picnic immensely. The atmosphere in this quiet green park is amazing. The earth is giving up its fragrance with the onset of the rain. The first drops are still fresh on the ground, it is alive and fragrant. I have never smelled such a beautiful fragrance of life. If there was a smell in ISIS, it was dry and dead. This fragrance is one of life. Every piece of this green grass is alive, every plant, every tree, all are alive.

My wonderful friends who give me so much comfort are alive. I am alive. Now I will continue with this wonderful picnic experience. Thank you."

Rezan Bassim, age 10

Rana

"My husband and three of my children are still missing, they are either still held captive or are dead but I have not received any information for ten years. Living with that, with the unknown, keeps me in limbo somewhere between life and death. It’s a loss that is present, is ongoing, and may or may not be final.

I joined the SOHF family six months ago. My life has turned around. Being part of this family gives me a loving supporting community, and fills me with joy, hope and purpose. I tend to live in the sewing room where I am learning new skills which truly empower me, and give me confidence in knowing that I am productive . I am so grateful to be a part of such a loving caring community, who lift me up , particularly when I am hard on myself and beat myself up over my biological family.

The picnic was divine. It was full of clean air, blue sky, wonderful clouds. There was such joy and connection. We sang and danced, played games and ate together. I experienced a total mental reset and returned to my tent feeling alive, invigorated and wonderfully calm. I am so grateful to everyone who made this possible."

Rana

Malek, age 18

"It’s been a long time since I felt so happy and comfortable. In many ways my friends have become my family. I have not seen my real family since the day that we were all taken captive to ISIS in Syria in 2014. I have no idea if they are alive, if they are at least safe. I know nothing. I grew up alone in ISIS, and have lived with cousins since I was released. I am grateful for a place to live with my cousins who are good to me, but Springs of Hope, both staff and students have become my family and gives me great strength and comfort.

When I go to a picnic like this, it's reconnecting with something I thought I had lost. Family. SOHF has taught me that there is much for me in life, that I have hope and future, that I can live a life full of joy and make new memories. They have shown me that by embracing life I am making my family proud and continuing their legacy. Thanks to SOHF and all of the wonderful friends and supporters, I am finding hope again, one day at a time"

Malek, age 18.

Maha, age 18

"Life is like a book. My first chapter was a long dark one. It was one written and shadowed by ISIS from the moment that they invaded our land, committing unspeakable acts especially against women. Today I want to talk more about my life than the picnic, I think it is the time to share something of my story with you, how I have lived through this black chapter.

I was once a prisoner. When you see the transformation in my life you will understand the importance of Springs of Hope in my journey. The support, the understanding and the companionship I found here became a lifeline for me, a door when I thought that all hope was lost. They have helped me to return to life and not to wander . They gave me renewed strength and belief. They grounded me.

Throughout my period of captivity I was consumed by surviving. Surviving and obeying. After my release I was consumed with dark thoughts, weighed down by so much including the day to day burden of supporting myself.

SOHF has become my family, my true family. I am so blessed.

This particular picnic was especially meaningful. The atmosphere was different unlike anything I had experienced before. It was peaceful and calming. There was the gentle scent of rain, the sound of birds and green green grass. I remember thinking to myself that I have never seen grass so green. The most beautiful part was sitting to eat with my family, friends and staff, sharing our joy and connection. It will stay in my memory for ever as a significant memory for my new chapter."

Maha, age 18

Nurse Salah

“This outing was totally different from every one that I have attended in all my years with SOHF as their Nurse. This was the first time that there was total connection one with another, total integration and the sharing of food. Our history until this point has shown a congregating based upon the given role in ISIS, upon rank or military assignment, and for the girls with whom they lived and also any work based connection. We have watched partial integration, but usually when it comes to eating together, they choose to be in their groups. As they were when captive.

These borders totally dropped. Love, respect, excitement and joy were tangible to all. There was also a sense of both adventure and relief, at going to an autumn picnic, with the clouds hovering with the promise of rain. For some who had recently been rescued or released, or had never been on a picnic, there was a sense of awe at the weather and its impact upon nature. It had rained the day before so the smell of the damp earth and flowers drew them. Everyone commented upon the freshness and the way that everything felt clean. It somehow revived their souls after the intensity of the summer.

I remember when I first began to work with the survivors, their faces were closed, they were turned inwards, and almost clothed in a heaviness similar to depression. These days, thank God, are for the most, behind them. We know how deeply they cherish life and they often tell us that they draw strength and hope from us. There is no sense that we are SOHF taking a group of students out, we are family, going together, doing everything together as one unit. They deeply appreciate the inclusion, the acceptance and embrace into a loving family.”

Nurse Salah

I recently gave a lecture on trauma therapy, the non invasive practices that aid the processing and telling of the narrative of the experienced traumatic event and the body memories, the protective armor that the event has formed. My basic take with regards to our context, is to live close, listen well, observe in silence to be present and aware of the ever changing needs of the survivor. If going to the gym is releasing the hurt, the shame, the self loathing and the blame, then that’s the "therapy" that’s the current release method for that person. If it is banging a drum, that is music therapy.

My other basic take is simple, from Psalm 23, "He makes me lie down in green pastures, and leads me by still waters. He restores my soul. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” That for me is truth. Is the essence of healing.

We take the survivors of ISIS to beautiful places, where in the beauty of creation, their souls are open to restoration. Our wonderful tribe has a common emotional language, one that the majority of us have not learned. We recognise their need to be together and speak this emotional language. It is however, in places like this, at times like this that their emotional language expanded, just like a child learning new words. Their emotional language connects and identifies with the majesty and wonder of nature, their soul needing, yearning for the touch of the Creator and his breath, comes alive and we are invited into both that place of wounding and that place of healing.

"There was no grass in ISIS" is both an exposure of the place of wounding, as much as it becomes the door to Khonav’s healing.

The memory of Rezan’s swing in Shingal could have become his stumbling block, but he chose to sit on that swing and to swing for all his life was worth, turning the pain of loss into restoration.

Our journey of healing continues, almost every month it looks different. Please stay with us as we continue to listen to the emotional language of our wonderful tribe and to set up a table for them where they are safe to sit and dine in the presence of their enemies.